Tuesday, May 1, 2012
bills done ????
Bulls still dangerous without Derrick Rose, but championship hopes dashed
ok
Talent! - A guy walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender "Hey I got a deal for you! I got this here octopus, it plays intruments. If you can find me an instrument that this octopus cannot play, then I'll pay for my drinks, otherwise I wanna drink for free." Bartender thinks about it and agrees. He pulls out a guitar and sets it up on the bar, the guy who walked in pulls out his octopus and sets it up. The octopus sits there and stares at the guitar and stares at the guitar, finally he picks it up and plays it. He's playing some basic chords and progressions, even a little Hendrix. Everyone is impressed, the guy gets a drink. The bartender pulls out a trumpet, and puts it up on the bar. The octopus stares at it and stares at it, then picks it up. Boy can that otopus blow! Again everyone is impressed. So the bartender gives the guy his next drink and says "All right, you might could teach him to play guitar and you might could teach him to play trumpet. But nobody knows how to play bagpipes! Play these here bagpipes octopus!" So he sets em up, and the octopus starts staring at them and staring at them and staring at them. Finally, the guy who walked in says "Now you listen here octopus, you better start playing these bagpipes or else I'm gonna have to pay for my drinks" and the octopus says..."Play em? I'm trying to figure out how to fuck 'em I just can't get the pajamas off!" Thumbs up if you get it!! Thumbs up for joke!! Thumbs up for more! Comment!! Visit and follow my channel for more jokes!!! > Credit goes to whoever created the first version of this joke. Credit goes to my family n friends who TOLD me it, and Facebook.
20 Colleges Not Worth Their Tuition In 2012
Lewis & Clark College
2011 Cost: $189,100
30-year net return on investment (ROI): -$132,000*
Annual ROI: -0.3 percent**
University of North Carolina at Asheville (UNCA)
2011 cost: $119,800 (out-of-state)
30-year net ROI: -$132,000
Annual ROI: less than -12.3 percent
Flagler College
2011 Cost: $103,700
30-year net ROI -$134,000
Annual ROI: less than -12.3 percent
Concord University
2011 Cost: $97,120
30-year net ROI
-$135,000 annual
ROI: less than -12.3 percent
Cedarville University
2011 cost: $119,400
30-year net ROI -$141,000
Annual ROI: less than -12.3 percent
Columbus College of Art and Design
2011 cost: $153,300
30-year net ROI -$141,000
Annual ROI: -4.6 percent
University of Illinois at Springfield
2011 cost: $115,100 (out-of-state)
30-year net ROI -$143,000
Annual ROI: less than -12.3 percent
Anderson University (Indiana)
2011 Cost: $144,300
30-Year Net ROI -$148,000
Annual ROI: less than -12.3 percent
Jackson State University (JSU)
2011 Cost: $85,450
30-year net ROI -$148,000
Annual ROI: less than -12.3 percent
University of Montevallo
2011 Cost: $72,140
30-year net ROI -$148,000
Annual ROI: less than -12.3 percent
Marywood University
2011 Cost: $165,900
30-year net ROI: -$161,000
Annual ROI: -7.8%
University of Montevallo
2011 Cost: $100,700 (Out-of-State)
30-year net ROI: -$161,000
Annual ROI: less than -12.3 percent
Jackson State University (JSU)
2011 Cost: $117,900 (Out-of-State)
30-year net ROI: -$161,000
Annual ROI: less than -12.3 percent
Nazareth College of Rochester
2011 Cost: $151,800
30-year net ROI: $-166,000
Annual ROI: less than -12.3 percent
College of the Ozarks
2011 Cost: $104,200
30-year net ROI: $-176,000
Annual ROI: less than -12.3 percent
Meredith College
2011 Cost: $142,100
30-year net ROI: -$179,000
Annual ROI: less than -12.3 percent
Medaille College
2011 Cost: $130,100
30-year net ROI: -$184,000
Annual ROI: less than -12.3 percent
Judson University
2011 Cost: $151,100
30-year net ROI: $-186,000
Annual ROI: less than -12.3 percent
Seton Hill University
2011 Cost: $160,200
30-year net ROI: -$186,000
Annual ROI: less than -12.3 percent
Savannah College of Art and Design (SCAD)
2011 Cost: $176,900
30-year net ROI: -$189,000
Annual ROI: less than -12.3 percent
**Annual ROI: This is the expected value of the earnings differential divided by the weighted cost for a 2011 graduate, annualized to represent the percent of expected ROI received each year after graduation.
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nba round one
| Game 1: Bulls 103, 76ers 91 | HENDRICKSON Game 2: at CHI, Tue. May 1, 8 p.m., TNT Game 3: at PHI, Fri. May 4, 8 p.m., ESPN2 Game 4: at PHI, Sun. May 6, 1 p.m., ABC Game 5: at CHI, Tue. May 8, If Necessary Game 6: at PHI, Thu. May 10, If Necessary Game 7: at CHI, Sat. May 12, If Necessary |
|
Game 1: Heat 100, Knicks 67 | THOMSEN
Game 2: Heat 104, Knicks 94 | THOMSEN Game 3: at NYK, Thu. May 3, 7 p.m. TNT Game 4: at NYK, Sun. May 6, 3:30 p.m., ABC Game 5: at MIA, Wed. May 9, If Necessary Game 6: at NYK, Fri. May 11, If Necessary Game 7: at MIA, Sun. May 13, If Necessary |
|
Game 1: Magic 81, Pacers 77
Game 2: Pacers 93, Magic 78 | FORRESTER Game 3: at ORL, Wed. May 2, 7:30 p.m., NBA TV Game 4: at ORL, Sat. May 5, 2 p.m., ESPN Game 5: at IND, Tue. May 8, If Necessary Game 6: at ORL, Fri. May 11, If Necessary Game 7: at IND, Sun. May 13, If Necessary |
| Game 1: Hawks 83, Celtics 74 | DOLLINGER Game 2: at ATL, Tue. May 1, 7:30 p.m., NBA TV Game 3: at BOS, Fri. May 4, 7:30 p.m., ESPN Game 4: at BOS, Sun. May 6, 7 p.m., TNT Game 5: at ATL, Tue. May 8, If Necessary Game 6: at BOS, Thu. May 10, If Necessary Game 7: at ATL, Sat. May 12, If Necessary |
Western Conference First Round | |||||||||||||
| Game 1: Spurs 106, Jazz 91 Game 2: at SAS, Wed. May 2, 7 p.m., TNT Game 3: at UTA, Sat. May 5, 10 p.m., TNT Game 4: at UTA, Mon. May 7, TBA Game 5: at SAS, Wed. May 9, If Necessary Game 6: at UTA, Fri. May 11, If Necessary Game 7: at SAS, Sun. May 13, If Necessary |
|
Game 1: Thunder 99, Mavericks 98
Game 2: Thunder 102, Mavericks 99 | POLK Game 3: at DAL, Thu. May 3, 9:30 p.m., TNT Game 4: at DAL, Sat. May 5, 7:30 p.m., TNT Game 5: at OKC, Mon. May 7, If Necessary Game 6: at DAL, Thu. May 10, If Necessary Game 7: at OKC, Sat. May 12, If Necessary |
| Game 1: Lakers 103, Nuggets 88 | JENKINS Game 2: at LAL, Tue. May 1, 10:30 p.m., TNT Game 3: at DEN, Fri. May 4, 10:30 p.m., ESPN Game 4: at DEN, Sun. May 6, 9:30 p.m., TNT Game 5: at LAL, Tue. May 8, If Necessary Game 6: at DEN, Thu. May 10, If Necessary Game 7: at LAL, Sat. May 12, If Necessary |
| Game 1: Clippers 99, Grizzlies 98 | MANNIX Game 2: at MEM, Wed. May 2, 9:30 p.m., TNT Game 3: at LAC, Sat. May 5, 4:30 p.m., ESPN Game 4: at LAC, Mon. May 7, 10:30 p.m., TNT Game 5: at MEM, Wed. May 9, If Necessary Game 6: at LAC, Fri. May 11, If Necessary Game 7: at MEM, Sun. May 13, If Necessary |
Read more: http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2012/basketball/nba/04/26/2012.playoff.schedule/index.html#ixzz1teMXznza