Malachi 3:16 Then they that feared the LORD spake often one to another: and the LORD hearkened, and heard it, and a book of remembrance was written before him for them that feared the LORD, and that thought upon his name.
Saturday, April 28, 2012
man
A man enters a bar where upon be sees a sign that says "complete the test, win 1000 dollars." The man is intrigued and asks the bartender for the details. He says, first you have to drink this fifth of tequilla, go in the first door and pull a tooth from a pitbull with rabies and lastly go in the second door and have sex with a 90 year old woman who has never done it before. The man accepts the challenge and drinks the tequilla, he stumbles into the first room and suddenly there are crashes and yelping, the man comes out and yells "now where is that woman with the bad tooth?"
cia
3 men are applying for the C.I.A. They have to pass a test. The first man approaches and the agent gives him a gun and says your wife is in there tied to a chair, kill her. The man says no and walks away. The next man approaches and the agent says the same thing, the man's goes in but upon seeing her, can't do it. The final man approaches, grabs the gun and enters the room. The agent hears gunfire followed by a bunch of loud noises and screaming. He comes out and the agent asks what happened, the man replies "you didn't tell me the gun was full of blanks, I had to beat the bitch to death with the chair."
God Saturday night 4/28/12
Joshua 24:15 But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.
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Johnny
NEVER mess with Johnny! Little Johnny and his grandfather have gone fishing. After a while grandpa gets thirsty and opens up his cooler for some beer. Little Johnny asks, "Grandpa can I have some beer too?" "Can you stick your penis in your asshole?" grandpa asked back. "No" "Well, than your not big enough" Granpa then takes out a cigarette and lights up. Little Johnny sees this and asks for a cigarette. "Can you stick your penis in your asshole?" grandpa asked again. "No" "Well, than your not big enough" Little Johnny gets upset and pulls out some cookies. His grandfather says, "Hey, those cookies look good, can I have some?" Little Johnny asks, "Can you stick your penis in your asshole?" Grandpa looks at Johnny and senses his trick so he says, "Well of course I can, I'm big enough." Little Johnny then says, "Well, then go fuck yourself, these are my cookies!!"
Saturday 4/28/12 god
Matthew 7:24-25 Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.