Saturday, December 3, 2011
sad day rip
we lost someone this weekend a friend sad news lost a friend and my dad lost a buddy rip http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=557908685
my friends buddies on facebook
twitter called following will I call it Facebook love shoot out to the best that loved on my wall this 4 u Mandy Shimizu,Dee Knapp,Ple Smile,Romeo Lombardi,
Romeo Lombardi,Ted McKown,IllMental Melgoza,Beth Cocca,Bill O'connor,Mike Akadmoney,Ashley Burke,Carl Howlett,Corina Vasquez Duran,Joanie Adelman,Wendy Belt,Alison Kroger,Josh King,Eva Gomez,Malaika Johnson,Joseph Cesspooch,Mehnaaz Aleem,Nianna Nenmacil please add me if u want to www.facebook.com/thundercatsnyy
Romeo Lombardi,Ted McKown,IllMental Melgoza,Beth Cocca,Bill O'connor,Mike Akadmoney,Ashley Burke,Carl Howlett,Corina Vasquez Duran,Joanie Adelman,Wendy Belt,Alison Kroger,Josh King,Eva Gomez,Malaika Johnson,Joseph Cesspooch,Mehnaaz Aleem,Nianna Nenmacil please add me if u want to www.facebook.com/thundercatsnyy
It's getting late here a joke
Two high school sweethearts who went out together for four years in high school were both virgins; they enjoyed losing their virginity with each other in 10th grade. When they graduated, they wanted to both go to the same college but the girl was accepted to a college on the east coast, and the guy went to the west coast. They agreed to be faithful to each other and spend anytime they could together.
As time went on, the guy would call the girl and she would never be home, and when he wrote, she would take weeks to return the letters. Even when he emailed her, she took days to return his messages.
Finally, she confessed to him she wanted to date around. He didn't take this very well and increased his calls, letters, and emails trying to win back her love. Because she became annoyed, and now had a new boyfriend, she wanted to get him off her back.
So, what she did is this: she took a Polaroid picture of her sucking her new boyfriend's cock and sent it to her old boyfriend with a note reading, "I found a new boyfriend, leave me alone." Well, needless to say, this guy was heartbroken but, even more so, was pissed. So, what he did next was awesome.
He wrote on the back of the photo the following, "Dear Mom and Dad, having a great time at college, please send more money!" and mailed the picture to her parents.
As time went on, the guy would call the girl and she would never be home, and when he wrote, she would take weeks to return the letters. Even when he emailed her, she took days to return his messages.
Finally, she confessed to him she wanted to date around. He didn't take this very well and increased his calls, letters, and emails trying to win back her love. Because she became annoyed, and now had a new boyfriend, she wanted to get him off her back.
So, what she did is this: she took a Polaroid picture of her sucking her new boyfriend's cock and sent it to her old boyfriend with a note reading, "I found a new boyfriend, leave me alone." Well, needless to say, this guy was heartbroken but, even more so, was pissed. So, what he did next was awesome.
He wrote on the back of the photo the following, "Dear Mom and Dad, having a great time at college, please send more money!" and mailed the picture to her parents.
Late night joke two
A man is sitting on a train across from a busty blonde wearing a tiny mini skirt. Despite his efforts, he is unable to stop staring at the top of the females thighs. To his delight, he realises she has gone without underwear.
The blonde realises he is staring and enquires, ‘Are you looking at my pussy?’ ‘Yes, I'm sorry’ replies the man and promises to avert his eyes.
‘It's quite alright,’ replies the woman, ‘It's very talented, watch this, I'll make it blow a kiss to you.’ Sure enough the pussy blows him a kiss.
The man, who is getting really interested, enquires what else the wonder pussy can do. ‘I can also make it wink,’ says the woman. The man stares in amazement as the pussy winks at him. ‘Come and sit next to me,’ suggests the woman, patting the seat. The man moves over and is asked, ‘Would you like to stick a couple of fingers in?’ Stunned, the man replies, ‘Fuck me! Can it whistle as well?’
The blonde realises he is staring and enquires, ‘Are you looking at my pussy?’ ‘Yes, I'm sorry’ replies the man and promises to avert his eyes.
‘It's quite alright,’ replies the woman, ‘It's very talented, watch this, I'll make it blow a kiss to you.’ Sure enough the pussy blows him a kiss.
The man, who is getting really interested, enquires what else the wonder pussy can do. ‘I can also make it wink,’ says the woman. The man stares in amazement as the pussy winks at him. ‘Come and sit next to me,’ suggests the woman, patting the seat. The man moves over and is asked, ‘Would you like to stick a couple of fingers in?’ Stunned, the man replies, ‘Fuck me! Can it whistle as well?’
Late night joke
A doctor goes to his office one Monday and is shocked to find that it has been ransacked and the files have all been mixed up. He sees the file for Mrs. Smith, but her chart is mixed up with some of the others and he can't tell which is which. He finally narrows it down to two charts and he decides to call her house. Mr.Smith answers the phone.
‘Mr. Smith, this is Dr. Jenkins. I have bad news. Your wife either has AIDS or Alzheimer's Disease, I don't know which.
‘Well, what should I do?’ asks a distraught Mr. Smith.
‘Drop her off at the edge of town,’ says the doctor, ‘and if she finds her way back, DON'T FUCK HER!’
‘Mr. Smith, this is Dr. Jenkins. I have bad news. Your wife either has AIDS or Alzheimer's Disease, I don't know which.
‘Well, what should I do?’ asks a distraught Mr. Smith.
‘Drop her off at the edge of town,’ says the doctor, ‘and if she finds her way back, DON'T FUCK HER!’
Dinner time in usa joke
ATTRACTION... the act of associating horniness with a particular person.
LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT... what occurs when two extremely horny, but not entirely choosy people meet.
DATING... the process of spending enormous amounts of money, time and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don't especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future.
BIRTH CONTROL... avoiding pregnancy through such tactics as swallowing special pills, inserting a diaphragm, using a condom, and dating repulsive men.
EASY... a term used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man.
EYE CONTACT... a method utilized by one person to indicate that they are interested in another. Despite being advised to do so, many men have difficulty looking a woman directly in the eyes, not necessarily due to shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman's eyes are not located in her chest.
FRIEND... a person in your acquaintance who has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.
INDIFFERENCE... a woman's feeling towards a man, which is interpreted by the man to be ‘playing hard to get’.
INTERESTING... a word a man uses to describe a woman who lets him do all the talking.
IRRITATING HABIT... what the endearing little qualities that initially attract two people to each other turn into after a few months together.
LAW OF RELATIVITY... how attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.
NYMPHOMANIAC... a man's term for a woman who wants to have sex more often than he does.
SOBER... condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love.
LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT... what occurs when two extremely horny, but not entirely choosy people meet.
DATING... the process of spending enormous amounts of money, time and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don't especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future.
BIRTH CONTROL... avoiding pregnancy through such tactics as swallowing special pills, inserting a diaphragm, using a condom, and dating repulsive men.
EASY... a term used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man.
EYE CONTACT... a method utilized by one person to indicate that they are interested in another. Despite being advised to do so, many men have difficulty looking a woman directly in the eyes, not necessarily due to shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman's eyes are not located in her chest.
FRIEND... a person in your acquaintance who has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.
INDIFFERENCE... a woman's feeling towards a man, which is interpreted by the man to be ‘playing hard to get’.
INTERESTING... a word a man uses to describe a woman who lets him do all the talking.
IRRITATING HABIT... what the endearing little qualities that initially attract two people to each other turn into after a few months together.
LAW OF RELATIVITY... how attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.
NYMPHOMANIAC... a man's term for a woman who wants to have sex more often than he does.
SOBER... condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love.
Last joke till later
The wife says, the wife means :
The wife says: we need, the wife means: I want.
The wife says: It's your decision, the wife means: The correct decision should be obvious
The wife says: Do what you want, the wife means: You'll pay for this later
The wife says: We need to talk, the wife means: I need to complain
The wife says: I'n not upset, the wife means: Of course I'm upset you moron
The wife says: You're ... so manly, the wife means: You need a shave and sweat a lot
The wife says: This kitchen is so inconvenient, the wife means: I want a new house.
The wife says: I want new curtains, the wife means: Also carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper!
The wife says: I need wedding shoes, the wife means: The other forty pairs are the wrong shade of white.
The wife says: Hang the picture there, the wife means: No, I mean hang it there!
The wife says: I heard a noise, the wife means: I noticed you were almost asleep.
The wife says: Do you love me?, the wife means: I'm going to ask for something expensive.
The wife says: How much do you love me?, the wife means: I did something today you're not going to like.
The wife says: I'll be ready in a minute, the wife means: Kick off your shoes and take an hour nap.
The wife says: Am I fat?, the wife means: Tell me I'm beautiful.
The wife says: You have to learn to communicate, the wife means: Just agree with me.
The wife says: Are you listening to me?, the wife means: [Too late, your doomed.]
The wife says: I'm sorry, the wife means: You'll be sorry
The wife says: Do you like this recipe?, the wife means: You better get used to it
The wife says: Was that the baby?, the wife means: Get out of bed and walk him
The wife says: I'm not yelling!, the wife means: Yes I am! I think this is important!
The wife says: we need, the wife means: I want.
The wife says: It's your decision, the wife means: The correct decision should be obvious
The wife says: Do what you want, the wife means: You'll pay for this later
The wife says: We need to talk, the wife means: I need to complain
The wife says: I'n not upset, the wife means: Of course I'm upset you moron
The wife says: You're ... so manly, the wife means: You need a shave and sweat a lot
The wife says: This kitchen is so inconvenient, the wife means: I want a new house.
The wife says: I want new curtains, the wife means: Also carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper!
The wife says: I need wedding shoes, the wife means: The other forty pairs are the wrong shade of white.
The wife says: Hang the picture there, the wife means: No, I mean hang it there!
The wife says: I heard a noise, the wife means: I noticed you were almost asleep.
The wife says: Do you love me?, the wife means: I'm going to ask for something expensive.
The wife says: How much do you love me?, the wife means: I did something today you're not going to like.
The wife says: I'll be ready in a minute, the wife means: Kick off your shoes and take an hour nap.
The wife says: Am I fat?, the wife means: Tell me I'm beautiful.
The wife says: You have to learn to communicate, the wife means: Just agree with me.
The wife says: Are you listening to me?, the wife means: [Too late, your doomed.]
The wife says: I'm sorry, the wife means: You'll be sorry
The wife says: Do you like this recipe?, the wife means: You better get used to it
The wife says: Was that the baby?, the wife means: Get out of bed and walk him
The wife says: I'm not yelling!, the wife means: Yes I am! I think this is important!
More joke
The 10th grade teacher asks Jessica: ‘What part of the human body increases to 10 times it's normal size when excited?’
Jessica responds: ‘That's disgusting! I don't have to answer that question!’
So the teacher asks little Johnny, who responds: ‘That's easy...the pupil of the eye.’ ‘That's correct, Johnny. Very good!’
And turning to Jessica, she says: ‘I've three things to say to you, young lady... first, you didn't do your homework; second, you have a dirty mind; and third, you're in for a big disappointment!’
Jessica responds: ‘That's disgusting! I don't have to answer that question!’
So the teacher asks little Johnny, who responds: ‘That's easy...the pupil of the eye.’ ‘That's correct, Johnny. Very good!’
And turning to Jessica, she says: ‘I've three things to say to you, young lady... first, you didn't do your homework; second, you have a dirty mind; and third, you're in for a big disappointment!’
Joke
The pretty teacher was concerned with one of her eleven-year-old students. Taking him aside after class one day,she asked, ‘Little Johnny, why has your school work been so poor lately?’ ‘I'm in love,’ the boy replied.
Holding back an urge to smile, she asked, ‘With whom?’ ‘With YOU!’ he said. ‘But Johnny,’ she said gently, ‘don't you see how silly that is? It's true that I would like a husband of my own someday. But I don't want a child.’
‘Oh, don't worry,’ the boy said reassuringly, ‘I'll use a rubber!’
Holding back an urge to smile, she asked, ‘With whom?’ ‘With YOU!’ he said. ‘But Johnny,’ she said gently, ‘don't you see how silly that is? It's true that I would like a husband of my own someday. But I don't want a child.’
‘Oh, don't worry,’ the boy said reassuringly, ‘I'll use a rubber!’
Cancer
Cancer...we all want something... a person who has cancer only wants one thing... to survive. Post this for anyone who has died, survived, or is fighting now.
Joke
One day Jane met Tarzan in the jungle. She was very attracted to him and, during her questions about his life, she asked him how he managed for sex.
‘What's that?’ he asked. She explained to him what sex was, and he said, ‘Oh,Tarzan use hole in trunk of tree.’
Horrified, she said, ‘Tarzan you have that all wrong! I will show you how to do it properly.’ She took off her clothes, lay down on the ground, and spread her legs wide. ‘Here,’ she said, pointing, ‘You must put it in here.’ Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an almighty kick in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she managed to gasp, ‘Why the hell did you do that?’
‘Tarzan check for bees!’
‘What's that?’ he asked. She explained to him what sex was, and he said, ‘Oh,Tarzan use hole in trunk of tree.’
Horrified, she said, ‘Tarzan you have that all wrong! I will show you how to do it properly.’ She took off her clothes, lay down on the ground, and spread her legs wide. ‘Here,’ she said, pointing, ‘You must put it in here.’ Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an almighty kick in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she managed to gasp, ‘Why the hell did you do that?’
‘Tarzan check for bees!’
I can rip you off, and steal all your cash
suckerpunch you in the face, stand back and laugh
Leave you stranded as fast as a heart-attack
All day, I think bad thoughts
I can break your heart at the drop of a hat
Stab you in the back, in two minutes flat
Screw your girl in the back of my Cadillac
I think bad thoughts
suckerpunch you in the face, stand back and laugh
Leave you stranded as fast as a heart-attack
All day, I think bad thoughts
I can break your heart at the drop of a hat
Stab you in the back, in two minutes flat
Screw your girl in the back of my Cadillac
I think bad thoughts
Joke two
(Sung to the tune of "Winter Wonderland ") Doorbell rings, I'm not list'nin',From my mouth, drool is glist'nin',I'm happy -- although My boss let me go --Happily addicted to the Web. All night long, I sit clicking,Unaware time is ticking,There's beard on my cheek,Same clothes for a week,Happily addicted to the Web! Friends come by; they shake me, Saying, "Yo, man! Don't you know tonight's the senior prom? "With a listless shrug, I mutter "No, man;I just discovered laugh-a-lot-dot-com! "I don't phone, don't send faxes,Don't go out, don't pay taxes,Who cares if someday They drag me away? I'm happily addicted to the Web! Happ-ilyyyyy, ad-dict-eeeed to the Weeeeeb!!! (Yeah!)"
Joke afternoon
A man and a woman were dating. She being of a religious nature had held back the worldly pleasure that he wanted from her so bad. In fact, he had never even seen her naked. One day, as they drove down the freeway, she remarked about his slow driving habits.
‘I can't stand it anymore,’ she told him. ‘Let's play a game. For every 5 miles per hour over the speed limit you drive, I'll remove one piece of clothing’.
He enthusiastically agreed and sped up the car. He reached the 55 MPH mark, so she took off her blouse. At 60 off came the pants. At 65 it was her bra and at 70 her panties.
Now seeing her naked for the first time and travelling faster than he ever had before, he became very excited and lost control of the car. He veered off the road, went over an embankment and hit a tree. His girlfriend was not hurt but he was trapped. She tried to pull him free but alas he was stuck. ‘Go to the road and get help,’ he said. ‘I don't have anything to cover myself with!’ she replied. The man felt around, but could only reach one of his shoes. ‘You'll have to put this between your legs to cover it up,’ he told her. So she did as he said and went up to the road for help.
Along came a truck driver. Seeing a naked, crying woman along the road, he pulled over to hear her story. ‘My boyfriend! My boyfriend!’ she sobs, ‘He's stuck and I can't pull him out!’
The truck driver looking down at the shoe between her legs replies, ‘Ma'am, if he's in that far, I'm afraid he's a goner!’
‘I can't stand it anymore,’ she told him. ‘Let's play a game. For every 5 miles per hour over the speed limit you drive, I'll remove one piece of clothing’.
He enthusiastically agreed and sped up the car. He reached the 55 MPH mark, so she took off her blouse. At 60 off came the pants. At 65 it was her bra and at 70 her panties.
Now seeing her naked for the first time and travelling faster than he ever had before, he became very excited and lost control of the car. He veered off the road, went over an embankment and hit a tree. His girlfriend was not hurt but he was trapped. She tried to pull him free but alas he was stuck. ‘Go to the road and get help,’ he said. ‘I don't have anything to cover myself with!’ she replied. The man felt around, but could only reach one of his shoes. ‘You'll have to put this between your legs to cover it up,’ he told her. So she did as he said and went up to the road for help.
Along came a truck driver. Seeing a naked, crying woman along the road, he pulled over to hear her story. ‘My boyfriend! My boyfriend!’ she sobs, ‘He's stuck and I can't pull him out!’
The truck driver looking down at the shoe between her legs replies, ‘Ma'am, if he's in that far, I'm afraid he's a goner!’
Joke work
"You Know It's Your Last Day At Work When.. "You hand a bank teller an envelope, and when she asks, "What's this? ", you realize you just dropped the company's deposit in a mailbox. A woman comes into the store, you turn to the other salesman and say, "I waited on the last fat ugly old lady. This one's your turn ". Your boss is standing behind you. It's his wife. While your boss is at lunch, you sneak in and look at some confidential information on his computer. You spill coffee on the keyboard. It shorts out. You return from a week's vacation to find that you had scheduled *this* week as vacation, not last week. You take a "sick " day. The next morning the boss asks you, "So, how was the fishing on Rock Creek yesterday? ". You wake up hung over. You have a black eye and barked knuckles. You're in jail. Last night was the company Christmas party."
Joke
A hunter spots a small brown bear and shoots it. He then feels a tap on his shoulder, turns around, and is face to face with a big black bear. ‘You’ve got two choices,’ says the bear. ‘I maul you, or we have sex.’
The guy opts to take it from the bear. After recovering for two weeks, the pissed-off hunter searches out and shoots the big black bear. Just then he feels another tap on his shoulder, and turns to see a 10-foot grizzly standing over him.
‘Admit it,’ says the bear. ‘You don’t come here for the hunting, do you?’
The guy opts to take it from the bear. After recovering for two weeks, the pissed-off hunter searches out and shoots the big black bear. Just then he feels another tap on his shoulder, and turns to see a 10-foot grizzly standing over him.
‘Admit it,’ says the bear. ‘You don’t come here for the hunting, do you?’
Wake up joke
A Duck walks into a bar.
Duck: You got any bread?
Barman: No, sorry, we don't have any bread[After a few minutes]
Duck: You got any bread?
Barman: Look, we don't have any bread[In a little while]
Duck: You got any bread?
Barman: We don't have any F*****g bread![Some time later]
Duck: Got any bread?
Barman: If you ask me if I've got any F*****g bread once more I'm gonna nail your F*****g bill to this bar......
Duck: You got any nails?
Barman: NO!
Duck: You got any bread?
Duck: You got any bread?
Barman: No, sorry, we don't have any bread[After a few minutes]
Duck: You got any bread?
Barman: Look, we don't have any bread[In a little while]
Duck: You got any bread?
Barman: We don't have any F*****g bread![Some time later]
Duck: Got any bread?
Barman: If you ask me if I've got any F*****g bread once more I'm gonna nail your F*****g bill to this bar......
Duck: You got any nails?
Barman: NO!
Duck: You got any bread?
Bones season 6
Bones still hot in this season they lose someone close that they work with I'm not going to say bc it not cool still great season gets ✹✹✹✹✩
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