Sunday, December 4, 2011
favorite TV shows with Hulu Plus&thought you'd enjoy it.Sign up & get 2 weeks FREE! http://hulu.com/r/neEqSw
God gives pain to me cancer http://kevintipplescorner.blogspot.com/2011/12/sandi-and-future.html?m=1
favorite TV shows with Hulu Plus&thought you'd enjoy it.Sign up & get 2 weeks FREE! http://hulu.com/r/neEqSw
favorite TV shows with Hulu Plus&thought you'd enjoy it.Sign up & get 2 weeks FREE! http://hulu.com/r/neEqSw
God gives pain to me cancer http://kevintipplescorner.blogspot.com/2011/12/sandi-and-future.html?m=1
Joke
A trucker who has been out on the road for two weeks stops at a brothel outside Atlanta. He walks straight up to the Madam, drops down £500 and says: ‘I want your ugliest woman and a grilled cheese sandwich!’
The Madam is astonished. ‘But sir, for that kind of money you could have one of my finest ladies and a three-course meal.’
The trucker replies: ‘Listen darlin', I'm not horny - I'm homesick.’
The Madam is astonished. ‘But sir, for that kind of money you could have one of my finest ladies and a three-course meal.’
The trucker replies: ‘Listen darlin', I'm not horny - I'm homesick.’
Joke dinner
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time. Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms.
The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. ‘Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!’ The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down. 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, ‘I had no idea you were this religious.’ The boy turns, and whispers back, ‘I had no idea your father was a pharmacist.’
The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. ‘Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!’ The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down. 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, ‘I had no idea you were this religious.’ The boy turns, and whispers back, ‘I had no idea your father was a pharmacist.’
favorite TV shows with Hulu Plus&thought you'd enjoy it.Sign up & get 2 weeks FREE! http://hulu.com/r/neEqSw
Right in the middle of lovemaking, the husband dies of a heart attack. As the funeral arrangements are being made, the mortician informs the widow that he cannot get rid of her dead husband's rigor mortis hard-on which is sticking straight up in the air and if they don't do something, it will look odd in the coffin at the funeral.
The widow tells the guy to cut it off and stick it up her dear departed's behind. The mortician can't believe his ears but the widow is adamant, so he does it. During the funeral, friends and relatives of the dead man were concerned to see a tear in the corner of his eye, but the widow assured them that there was no cause to be alarmed.
Just before the casket is closed, the widow leans in and whispers in the dead man's ear, ‘It HURTS, doesn't it?’
The widow tells the guy to cut it off and stick it up her dear departed's behind. The mortician can't believe his ears but the widow is adamant, so he does it. During the funeral, friends and relatives of the dead man were concerned to see a tear in the corner of his eye, but the widow assured them that there was no cause to be alarmed.
Just before the casket is closed, the widow leans in and whispers in the dead man's ear, ‘It HURTS, doesn't it?’
Joke time
A guy meets a girl out at a nightclub and she invites him back to her place for the night, her parents are out of town and this is the perfect opportunity. They get back to her house and they go into her bedroom, and when the guy walks in the door he notices all these fluffy toys. There's hundreds of them, fluffy toys on top of the wardrobe, fluffy toys on the bookshelf and window sill, there's more on the floor, and of course fluffy toys all over the bed. Later, after they've had sex, he turns to her and asks,
''So, how was I?''
She says, ''Well, you can take anything from the bottom shelf.''
''So, how was I?''
She says, ''Well, you can take anything from the bottom shelf.''
favorite TV shows with Hulu Plus&thought you'd enjoy it.Sign up & get 2 weeks FREE! http://hulu.com/r/neEqSw
favorite TV shows with Hulu Plus&thought you'd enjoy it.Sign up & get 2 weeks FREE! http://hulu.com/r/neEqSw
Good afternoon
This woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, ‘You know what? You have been with me through all the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side... You know what?’
‘What dear,’ she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.
‘I think you're bad luck.....’
‘What dear,’ she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.
‘I think you're bad luck.....’
A couple had been married for 25 years and was celebrating the husband's 60th birthday. During the party, a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple all those years, she would give them one wish each.
The wife said, ‘We've been so poor all these years, and I've never gotten to see the world. I wish we could travel all over the world.’ The fairy waved her wand and POOF! She had the tickets in her hand.
Next, it was the husband's turn. He paused for a moment, and then said, ‘Well, I'd like to be married to a woman 30 years younger than me.’ The fairy waved her wand and POOF! He was 90.
The wife said, ‘We've been so poor all these years, and I've never gotten to see the world. I wish we could travel all over the world.’ The fairy waved her wand and POOF! She had the tickets in her hand.
Next, it was the husband's turn. He paused for a moment, and then said, ‘Well, I'd like to be married to a woman 30 years younger than me.’ The fairy waved her wand and POOF! He was 90.
Wake joke 2
A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. ‘Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being there tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family - but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!’
A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raises his hand and asks, ‘What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?’
The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering.
When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, ‘Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.’
A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raises his hand and asks, ‘What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?’
The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering.
When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, ‘Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.’
Wake up joke
A frustrated housewife decided her sex life needed spicing up after 20 years of marriage. After her husband went to work she slipped out and went into a lingerie shop and picked up a pair of crotchless knickers. She went home, tarted herself up and donned the new garment and selected a short skirt to go with it. She greeted her husband when he came home from work and sat across from him after she prepares him a drink. She slowly spread her legs,and in a husky come-fuck-me-voice says ‘Honey, would you like some of this?’
The husband looks between his ageing wife's legs and lets out his breath, looking up at his doting wife replies, ‘HELL, NO! Look what it's done to your underwear.’
The husband looks between his ageing wife's legs and lets out his breath, looking up at his doting wife replies, ‘HELL, NO! Look what it's done to your underwear.’
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